#17 | Ring Ring

A phone call from you is all I need to make my day that much better.
Too bad you don't know that yet.
Though it seems as if you do,
but you don't want to admit it.
Or maybe I'm wrong and can no longer tell the difference
between good friendships and spectacular relationships.
The delight I'd receive from your companionship.
It's been so long, and the days are flashing before my eyes;
the ones I close and see of but one.
Let's see where this goes,
these convos.
Wherever they bring us,
God forbid they don't bring us further away than we already are.
You're all I need to get by...

Hang on.  I have inspiration again.  I lost it long ago.

She.

#16 | One-Eighty

Wow, it's been more than a YEAR since I've written in this ventilation alter-ego blog of mine.  Heh...

In that year, I've been humbled by what I've seen and experienced.  There's a lot to life than what you see in your town, city, state, country.  It was my full intention to see what was out there.  What you have NOW is all that matters.  When it's taken away, you realize how priceless it really is.  I know, because I've had it taken away.  Now I have it all again and more.  But the way I approach things is different...yet there is still much more to learn. 

I see now what it is to burn.  It hurt, but it hurt good.

I think it's good to suffer for at least one period in your life.

#15 | Changes

These past couple months I have seen too many things change too rapidly.  Questioning the loyalty of certain people, or at least wondering why they've chosen to act a certain way.  As if the winds of change finally started to blow the other direction.  I don't see it all as a bad thing, but peculiar.  I see these recent events setting off a chain reaction and manipulating their mentality for the worst (or better?).  You leave for a bit, then come back, and everything is just different.  I guess many things can happen in a few months.  What's hard is adjusting back to what "it" is now.

As shady as it sounds, it's so much easier to just leave it all behind...again.  Cross my fingers and hope everything turns out better with an extended absence.

Thankfully, I've learned to ignore the drama and just live.  Or have I?  Let's wait and see...

Something deep inside me yearns for the drama...like a movie, almost.  But when people get hurt, who knows what the outcome may be?  Plus, the strongest bonds occur after the hardest trials.  A voice inside tells me to go through with it.

Thoughts rapidly transferring through to my fingers and nothing makes sense.  Hah!

#14 | (no title)

You were a figment of my imagination.  Until the winds blew my emptiness towards your presence.  Now I'm astounded by your essence.  That vibe that emits from your being forces my face into a smile; and my heart riles as I get closer, and closer.  You've planted my soul with seeds of hope.  And it has grown fond of the happiness you shower upon me.  I've hesitated when I heard your anchor splash into my ocean of infatuation.  Now I ask why I continued to sail on, leaving you dumbfounded.  Who would have thought a signal was all you wanted. 

I travel back to see that you've parted ways.  And another you have offered your all to.  Only to have been rejected without experiencing your endearment.  Knowing without deeply knowing, I see you.  Can I make myself visible enough for you to see too?  I'll throw my pride away, and toss all I can convey.  Though impossible, for the tides drowned me in doubt and washed me ashore to its beaches of skepticism...and the sand has blinded my vision.

You slowly wipe the sand from these eyes with your feelings of utmost delicacy; from far away.  You've read my message in a bottle.  Still unsure of your intentions, I sit alone and wonder if my efforts have truly gone unnoticed.  They haven't.  From me, you receive happiness in your world of gray.  Though I don't have much to say, you brought me back from my low.  Here I go as the days pass and my emptiness is slowly filled.  I await the moment you pack to the brim and make it overflow.  Soon, I hope...in one fell swoop.  Because that's all the time I have.  Please make the next time count...